Juan Carlo “JC”
Quilino Rallos

I did not know you that well, and that’s what I’m guilty about. It must be a very selfish emotion, coming from me, to be more concerned that I never got to know you myself. That’s my fault alone, and it’s not like you weren’t ever available.

Us four were going to hang out sometime. She told me so. I was looking forward to it, even if we were so busy. Now that idea isn’t collecting dust, but is either ash or soil now.

Things aren’t going to be the same. I don’t know how I’ll go to class this week and act like your vacant seat is normal. I don’t know how I’ll stomach graduating when you won’t be up there with me and reaching your real dreams. I admired you, you know? Your very existence showed me that it was okay to be messy and old simultaneously, but now I don’t know what to think without you here.

There’s so much I don’t know. You seemed to know a lot, though.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a coward and holding myself back from really becoming your friend. I’m sorry I stopped you from singing an early birthday celebration in the cafeteria one time. I’m sorry that all I can feel is guilt now that you’re gone.

I hope you know my grandpa and birds welcome you with open arms, JC Rallos.

I just lost someone I hold dearly, and I still can’t believe I’m writing this about you, Kuya JC. I never imagined we’d have to say goodbye this soon.

We’ve seen each other grow into the people we are today, and it’s so hard to accept that I won’t get to see the person you’re still becoming. We’ve shared so many moments, laughs, and memories, and I never thought I’d have to look back on them this way.

You were the kind of friend who always showed up, no matter the circumstances. You never missed a hangout, always made time for us, and genuinely took an interest in the things your friends loved. You made an effort to know us and be part of the little things that made us happy. I hope you knew how special you were.

As a firstborn, I’m so used to being the one who looks after everyone else. Thank you for giving me the chance to have someone I could call kuya. That will always mean so much to me.

I’m sorry that whenever we hung out, I was always the one nagging you. I wish I could have one more chance to do that, to laugh with you, and to make more memories together. I never thought I’d miss those little moments this much.

Losing you has made me realize how short and unpredictable life really is. I don’t want to keep saying “next time” or waiting for the perfect moment to spend time with the people I love. I want to show up for my friends the way you always showed up for us. I want to be the kind of friend you were: someone who makes time, takes an interest, and makes people feel loved simply by being there.

Kuya JC, I wish we had more time. More hangouts, more laughs, more memories, and more chances to call you kuya. I wish I could see all the beautiful things life still had in store for you.

Thank you for growing alongside me, for being part of my life, and for showing me what it means to be a good friend. I hope I can carry a little piece of you in the way I love my friends and show up for the people who matter to me.

I’ll live more, hesitate less, and never take the people I love for granted. If there’s one thing I want to do differently, it’s to show up for the people I love the way you always did.

Rest peacefully, Kuya JC. I’m so grateful our paths crossed, and I’ll always be grateful that I got to call you my friend and my kuya. I wish we had more time.

I didn’t see this one coming.

We’ve only met just right when our second or third groupings at STS started, we just somehow got along very well. Even though you were older, you made sure that we were in good company. You made sure that we were seen and heard, and you made sure that we had fun while going through college.

Even though it was a short time, it was great knowing you. And I wish we had more time to fully get to know one another. Your stories made me realize that I really had to get my life together, and that I should always keep my head up despite any obstacles. I just wish we had more time..

This clip is the first and only time we ever went to Chill Thrill after a while of itching to sing in a KTV spot. I was so happy that I got to sing with you and Ivy. Though, I never expected this to be the last time we’d hangout.

JC Rallos I miss you already dude, lalo na ‘yung deep talks natin sa Tomoro sa Morayta. I hope you rest in paradise, amigo